Student veteran panel at Jefferson Community College discuss living with PTSD

May 05--WATERTOWN -- For soldiers and veterans struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder, the symptoms can emerge in many forms.

For Charles J. Hartley, it was an aggression at home that he previously had been able to leave at his infantryman work, an aggression that he said almost lost him his family.

For Gary H. Young, it was a change in outlook, as he attempted to use humor to direct attention away from his feelings, at times veering toward suicidal thoughts.

For Natasha L. Diaz-Pelfrey, it was harsh words toward her young daughter, who called her "Mean Mom," and described her as "Grrr."

"It doesn't ever go away," she said. "You can't cure it. It's always there; it's on the back of your mind, but you can live with it. You can move past it to where it's something in your past that you just occasionally think about."

The three veteran students at Jefferson Community College walked a small, engaged audience through their challenges, from finding medications that work to facing large social settings, during an hourlong discussion Monday at the school's McVean Student Center. The session led the school's PTSD Awareness Week.

Mr. Young and Mr. Hartley linked their PTSD to their military careers, while Ms. Diaz-Pelfrey said her diagnosis is connected to a past sexual assault. The three are part of the school's Veterans Club.

One of the challenges they faced was getting over the stigma of seeking help.

Mr. Young, who served in the Army for 22 years, including 10 at Fort Drum, said he always considered seeking mental help a "career-ender," and recalled negative experiences when first seeking help. The difference, he said, was finding someone who connected with him personally.

"(If) You don't mesh with your counselor, you're just going to get worse," Mr. Young said. The three said veterans seeking help should acknowledge it may take several sessions before a person feels comfortable talking about his or her experiences.

"When you open up, all the release happens," Mr. Hartley said. "You start feeling better, because you're actually sitting there talking to somebody."

Despite their increasing comfort in living with PTSD, the three acknowledged they still hit occasional setbacks.

Mr. Hartley, who served in the Army for 10 years, said he had a low point about three weeks ago in which he isolated himself from friends and family for about two days.

"It's something we live with day in and day out. It's something our families have to live with," he said. "You can get back to about 80, 90 percent of who you were, but you'll never be 100 percent of who you (were) before this happened."

For family and friends concerned about a loved one, panel members suggested starting small, asking them how they're doing, and offering a listening ear.

"All we're doing is trying to find someone to talk to, somebody to hear us, somebody to listen," Mr. Hartley said. "So we can share our experiences the way we can."

___

(c)2015 Watertown Daily Times (Watertown, N.Y.)

Visit Watertown Daily Times (Watertown, N.Y.) at www.watertowndailytimes.com

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.